Like clockwork….

When I first came off the pill, my cycle was anywhere from 23 days – 38 days and so, when I was trying to pin point my fertile days, it was nearly impossible.

Typically, now that we have thrown all ideas of ttc naturally out of the window, my period arrives like clockwork, on the 25th of every month. It started last year, when it arrived on the 25th September… hubby’s birthday!!! What bad luck I thought, no birthday nookie and I had to rush off to buy him a pressie instead (I’m joking!)!

Since that day, it has arrived without fail, on the 25th of every month….Christmas, his birthday this year, you name it, it arrived!!! It doesn’t seem to matter whether there are 30 days, 31 or even 28 days in a month…. the morning of the 25th, it will be here!

Now, there are really only 4 days a year where I would like to be period free (or, technically I would like to be period free for 9 months, but hey!) and those are the 6th Nov (my birthday), 15th Oct (our anniv), 25th Sept (his birthday) and  25th Dec (duh!), which leaves us with 27 other days in a calendar month (or 28, depending on the month) when Aunty Flo could come a knocking and, does she? Does she heck! She would obviously much prefer to ruin 2 special days out of our 4, than none……

xx

The soundtrack of our journey…

A song for our little one, who is out there somewhere….

I’m not surprised, not everything lasts
I’ve broken my heart so many times, I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up, then I let myself down

I tried so very hard not to lose it
I came up with a million excuses
I thought, I thought of every possibility

And I know someday that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, that I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it’s half timing, and the other half’s luck
Wherever you are, whenever it’s right
You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life

And I know that we can be so amazing
And, baby, your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

And somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You’ll make me work, so we can work to work it out
And I promise you, kid, I give so much more than I get
I just haven’t met you yet

They say all’s fair
In love and war
But I won’t need to fight it
We’ll get it right and we’ll be united

And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility

And someday I know it’ll all turn out
And I’ll work to work it out
Promise you, kid, I’ll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get

Oh, you know it’ll all turn out
And you’ll make me work so we can work to work it out
And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get
Yeah, I just haven’t met you yet

I just haven’t met you yet
Oh, promise you, kid
To give so much more than I get

I said love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
(I just haven’t met you yet)
Love, love, love, love
Love, love
I just haven’t met you yet

I bolded the lyrics that ring particularily true, but the entire song mirrors my feelings at the mo… hope, tinged with excitement, tinged with apprehension!!  🙂

P.s: it may not play from here, if it doesn’t, click on the link to view it on you tube and it will take you straight there (you may need to allow pop ups).

xx

The Group Session

Even though I am kinda consumed by the excitement of finally being on the list and enjoying the feeling that we are finally GETTING SOMEWHERE, I wanted to post my thoughts on the group session that we had on Saturday.

There were 7 couples and 2 single Mom’s, the ages of the couples ranged from 28-48 and there was a same sex, trans racial couple too. The same sex couple had alredy adopted a little girl and one of the single mom’s had a little boy already too and so it was very interesting to hear their stories. Another couple are in the process of trying to foster siblings and 2 other couples had their “eye” on a baby, but the birth mom’s were giving them the complete run around….one of them was even demanding that the couple buy her a car!!! So it was definitely an eye opener in that respect!

The discussions were open and candid  and we heard from a couple who had given up their baby (the girl was just 16 at the time) and it was so humbling to hear their story and to see how they are still together and how supportive they are of each other. It was also so nice to hear it from ‘their’ (birth parents) side and they made everyone reach for their tissues whilst we listened!

Then we heard from a couple that had adopted a gorgeous little one, from birth. We heard the entire story, right from the initial phone call that we all long to receive, up until the birth and beyond….by the time they had finished, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house!!! The adoptive Mom also voiced what I am sure all the women around that room has wondered at one point or another….that adoption does not take away the yearning to be pregnant and to give birth (which we always assume is a Women’s right!). Cue many more crying women….! After we had heard from the adoptive parents, the birth parents said that hearing their side, helped them understand more too, so it really was a theraputic exercise for all!

All in all, it was a very emotionally challenging day, but one that made Hubby and I so much more excited, as it made it all the more real and, in fact, once we have our little one we will be standing up at one of those group sessions, giving all the other prospective parents one of the best gifts you can receive during this journey….. HOPE!!!

xx

WE’RE ON THE LIST!!!!!

As of 21:30pm today, 14th November 2011, we are officially ON THE LIST!!! Eeeeeeeeeeek!!

Goodness only knows how we’re going to get any sleep tonight, we are sooooo excited :):):)

Let the waiting commence…

Lord, if you see it fit, please make our wait a short one. Amen

Keep us in your thoughts…

xx

Our Profile…DONE!!

I am just quickly popping on, as we have just this second put the finishes on our profile (scrapbook of our life together, which the Birth Mom sees and how she chooses between couples) and, to say that I am proud of it, is an understatement!

Between hubby and myself, we barely have a creative bone in our bodies, but we have sweated over this profile for many many hours and we’re now done!! YIPEEE! If I was a birth mom, I would definitely choose it 🙂

Good night all, we only have 2 more sleeps till our group session and then hopefully no more sleeps till we’re ( dare I say it??) ON THE LIST!!!!!

xx

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What’s the hold up??

I can’t tell you how patient I have been over the past 5 or so years, waiting for my baby, so I think I deserve this frustration, that is threatening to boil over into a molten pit of rage…

As previously posted, we had our home visit on the 17th, where our Social Worker merrily said, “the only thing standing between you and the list, is your psych assessment. Once I receive that, you guys are on the list!”

We were SO excited by that comment, that I immediately began to pester the psychologist… I mean, we had had the assessment and paid her the vast sum of money she charged…so where was the report? Turns out, she had glandular fever and made me feel incredibly guilty that I was bugging her for our report and said that our SW would have it on Monday (yesterday).

Soooo, I patiently (well, impatiently, but quietly) waited until TODAY, before texting the psychologist asking if she had managed to complete the report yesterday. She then rang me and left a message (I was in a meeting), saying that she had rung our SW and she said that she (psychologist) WASN’T holding us up, cos we still had to have our group session and she (SW) was still waiting for our profile.

ARGHHH why tell us on the 17th Oct, that all she (our SW) was waiting for was the psych assessment… as we are booked on our group session on the 12th Nov AND she said that we could bring our profile (scrapbook) to that session AND she told us to chase the assessment up, which I did, only for her to say to the Psychologist “don’t worry, I’m still waiting for their profile and for them to go on the group session”!!!!???

We are sooooo blooming close now, so why does it always feel that we’re getting further away?? 😥

xx

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