The Highs, The Lows, but at last we are “safe”…

I am sorry for being so neglectful over the past 5 weeks and thanks to Mrs FF for asking after me, I am fine and, yes I am still pregnant.

I was going to do a full post on the reason for my absence…our 7 week scan that indicated that the sac had collapsed and it was all over, BUT I have decided not to dwell on “that” scan, but rather on all the following ones,when our Miracle Baby showed that there is a reason that we believe in God, by growing in leaps and bounds and turning out to be perfect in our 12 week fetal assessment last week!!

So, we have officially reached the relative safety of the 12 week mark, but I still can’t seem to relax! I still dwell on all the possibilities of things going wrong and am basically living from scan to scan BUT, when I am sat waiting for my scans, I am terrified beyond belief that something will be wrong and I want to run screaming from the building!!! If I could have any wish right now (apart from a happy and healthy baby), I would wish for Ignorant Bliss and the pure belief that all will be fine, nothing bad will happen and, in 27 weeks time I will be holding my perfect bundle of joy, similar to most of the happy go lucky “fertiles” out there. BUT I know that my years in the trenches means my innocence as well as my ignorance and it seems my bliss too is long gone…I have seen, heard and experienced far too much heartache for it to be any different.

Perhaps it will all change when I start to look pregnant and start to feel the baby move, but I still have 7 long weeks to get through till that happens. So, until then, I am planning on keeping busy, keeping praying and keeping as positive as possible that all will be well.

xx

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10 thoughts on “The Highs, The Lows, but at last we are “safe”…

  1. You have no idea how happy this post made me today, when we ‘met’ all those years ago we were slightly further on our journey than you but hoped and prayed that you would soon be parents. When I fell pregnant with Pip (3rd time lucky!) I felt so guilty that you guys were still going through such heartache. Now you are on your amazing journey and from experience I can say you will be more anxious, you will worry more about ‘normal’ things, you will live from scan to scan until you can feel him/her wriggle regularly But when that first wiggle happens it will suddenly become real, when David feels him/her move your heart will feel like it is going to burst with happiness. I remember the moment the handed me Pip, it took a little while to realise that after 7 years I finally had a baby and she was mine. Wishing you all the most amazing next 27 weeks. xxx

  2. All will be well by God’s grace. I had a little fright when you didn’t post anything for so long but glad to know all is well despite the initial ‘set back’

    When is your next scan?

    You are in my thoughts and prayers always

    XOXO

  3. I know exactly how you feel. I was terrified all through my pregnancy. I didn’t relax until my boys were born healthy. It is so hard to surrender and trust that everything will be ok.

    I know it is hard, but remember to tell yourself every morning “today I am gloriously pregnant.”

    I hope you get to the point of being able to enjoy your pregnancy.

    Keep strong.

    • Thank you so much, I hope so too! I feel I may be able to relax a bit when I start to feel movement…as long as I don’t over analyse every movement or lack of…*sigh*!!

      Today I am gloriously pregnant!!

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