To the love of my life…

My Darling D

A year ago today, was the happiest day of our lives… the day we had our very first + appear on a home pregnancy test. Just reading back on here, to that day and I can remember it like it was yesterday. We were crying with happiness and wonder at the gift we had been given and had to pinch ourselves to make sure that it was real.

Today, just 12 months from there, we have been to hell and back. Ashton is the biggest blessing we could ever have imagined but, for 12 months we have been on an emotional rollercoaster of massive proportions and so it is only to be expected that we may have lost ourselves a little, along the way.

I love you more today than I did 12 months ago. I love you for the strength you showed when we found out about Eloise’s condition and the vulnerability you showed when you started to understand, why letting her go, would be the best thing for her. I love you for the thousands of tears you shed for our little girl and I love you most of all, for the touching and brutally honest account of her birth, that you wrote and allowed me to share on here for all to see.

This song pretty much sums up why I am the luckiest girl around: (I have taken out the choruses)

EMILE SANDE – NEXT TO ME

You won’t find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won’t ever find him being unfaithful
you will find him, you’ll find him next to me

You won’t find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won’t ever find him where the rest go
you will find him, you’ll find him next to me

When the money’s spent and all my friends have vanished
and I can’t seem to find no help or love for free
I know there’s no need for me to panic
cause i’ll find him, i’ll find him next to me

When the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all I need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, will find him next to me

When the end has come and buildings falling down fast
when we spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
when everyone has lost their heads around us
you will find him you’ll find him next to me

Never in my life have i met someone like him
I’m blown away by his love for me
if you ever wonder where it is you’ll find him
you will find him, you will find him next to me

I love you and I am so lucky that you chose me as your partner in life.

I am even luckier that you fight to make sure that you are the one I go to sleep next to at night and the first person I see every morning. You are always by my side… when it matters and when it doesn’t, when I deserve it and when I don’t. That is just the way you are built and I am eternally grateful for that.

My promise to you now, in front of cyber world as my witnesses… I will strive to be as good a person as you already think I am, the best wife to you that I know I can be and your partner for eternity.

I love you always and forever,

Your Soulmate xxx