The Perpetual 2 Week Wait

So, everyone that has been through infertility and IVF’s before, knows all to well the feeling of the dreaded 2 week wait, between transferring your embryos and waiting to be able to test to see if you are pregnant. To say it drags is an UNDERSTATEMENT!!! You are up and your are down…one day sure you are pregnant, the next sure that you aren’t and never ever will be…a complete rollercoaster of emotions.

What I didn’t realise is that, once you get your BFP (positive pregnancy test), the next 8 months is one long 2 week wait!! 2 weeks to wait for your first scan, 2-3 weeks till your second and then third and then it changes to 3-4 weeks!! All this without any outward sign that you are actually pregnant and that everything is progressing as it should…it is like living in my own personal hell!!

Today marks 2 weeks till our next scan…we have already endured a week and a half and now I still have another 2 weeks in limbo?? To tell you that I cannot WAIT to have a bump and to feel our miracle baby move, is also an understatement…if someone gave me a time machine right now, I would set it for 5 weeks time, no questions asked, I would just jump in it and go!!

I suppose that it doesn’t help that I am in that “in between stage”… too fat to fit my old clothes nicely and too small to fit into maternity wear…ARGH it’s so frustrating!!! I WANT TO LOOK PREGNANT AND NOT JUST LIKE I ATE TOO MANY PIES (although I am incidentally eating a very nice cornish pasty right now 😉 ).

Anyway, that’s enough of a whinge from my side, it’s Friday today and we have a loooong weekend ahead of us, it’s a public hol here on Monday and hubby’s birthday on Tuesday, so we are off work in 2.5 hours time for 4 days…BLISS!

Enjoy the weekend everyone 🙂

xx

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To POAS or not to POAS…that is the question!!!

For you infertility virgins (long may you remain so!) who have just stumbled upon my rantings by sheer luck (or bad luck!), POAS means to pee on a (home pregnancy) stick!

NOOOOOOOOOO I can hear all you seasoned TTC’vers scream at your PC, but hear me out first…

My reasoning is that, why shouldn’t I have some sort of normalcy in all this craziness? I know I will never experience what it is like to make the decision to have a baby and, 2 months later, be pregnant but, maybe, just maybe, if I finally get that 2nd line on the home pregnancy test perhaps, for a few seconds, I will forget all the past pain and heartbreak and know what normal feels like. Now that we are actually in our 2 week wait however, I must admit that I am a bit more cautious… after all, a home pregnancy test has never yielded good news for me before, I have NEVER in my entire 33 years on this planet, had a 2nd line appear, so what makes this time any different? Also, I’d quite like to remain PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) a little longer, in case Thursday’s blood test proves me PO rather than P!!!

Decisions decisions! Either way, I won’t do it till Tuesday, as that is 14dpo and so the result will be true….I cannot be arsed faffing around trying to make myself believe that a negative test is REALLY a positive, but just too early, like in my previous cycles.

Symptom update… AF type cramps today, which are completely freaking me out, as they do normally start on and off 2-3 days before AF arrives. Cue frantic knicker checking every 10 mins,..ahh the joy of the 2 week wait!!!

Keep us in your prayers (thanks to all who have left supportive comments) and feel free to comment with your view on whether I should or should not POAS on tues 😉

Bok xx

1 Week to go…

and the 2 week wait “crazies” have definitely begun to take hold!!! I have just spent my day googling ZIFT success stories, am I completely barmy? I think so! So much for the cool and collected me of last week…now I know that was just the anaesthetic in my system and my body needing to heal and, now that I am feeling better, I am better placed to stew over every little twinge and feeling/lack of feeling!!!

It is all the more vital now, as my embabies should be implanting yesterday, today and tomorrow and so the twinges and cramps become all the more necessary and the lack of them all the more SCARY!!! ARGHHHHHH, this is going to be the longest week of my life!!

Please pray my embabies are snuggling in to my uterus for the long haul…this has to be it, it just HAS to!

Bok x