11 Days from 1st injection to ZIFT…WOW!

I just cannot believe that this cycle has gone so fast! Guess it helps that the ZIFT will be done the day after egg retrieval and so I do not have to factor in those extra days but still, that seems lightening quick! It has been a bit hard going at times however, as I have been  on a very high dose of Menopur…5 amps to be exact! Last time I had ICSI, I was on 2 and that was only 3 years ago! Unfortunately tho, my amh level has dropped right down to 1.16 and so my ovarian reserve is very low AND our FS knows that it is our last cycle, so he wanted to give us as many eggies as possible. So, I started off with 5 amps for 3 days and then dropped down to 4, what this meant was that I got stinking headaches, even with drinking 3-4litres of water a day, which I really wasn’t prepared for, due to having zilch headaches last cycle.

Anyway, first scan showed 9 follies, second scan showed that they have grown nicely and wham bam, Egg Retrieval is tomorrow!!!

Please wish us luck, I will fill in the blanks of the missing days in between after my ZIFT, as I will be housebound for awhile! Sorry for being off air so long, have been trying to write a chapter of a book that one of the lovely forum ladies is putting together and so that has been taking up most of my brain power outside of work PLUS has been my outlet for a few days, so I could spare you some whinging 😉

Anyway, tomorrow is an early start and I need to conserve my strength for the following days general anaesthetic so, please pray for lots of eggies to work with on this, our last fresh cycle!! I’ll update you when I can, even if it is just a short one while in the land of purple clouds!

P.s: 3 sleeps till my nephew is born…at least I won’t still be hyped up on the urine of post menopausal women, so may handle it a bit better… although father’s day was kind of interesting, but that story will keep!

Bok x

Why I am more of an emotional wreck than usual…

Ok, so I thought that I owed you a bit of an explanation regarding my less than stable emotional state recently…

At the beginning of the month we made the decision that, in June, we will commence our 3rd and final ICSI cycle (as chatted about in a previous post). We are going balls to the wall with this one and are doing a ZIFT, which is a pretty hectic procedure, meaning that the embryo’s are transferred via a laparoscopy, into my tubes, the day after they fertilise. This is because, when the issue is with the sperm, the embies seem to do better when they are put back in their natural habitat quicker. It is a big procedure and means that I will be going under general anaesthetic the day after being sedated for egg retrieval BUT, I have survived a laparoscopy before and I want to look back and know that we did EVERYTHING that we could, to get our BFP.

So, there is a lot riding on this one, which automatically makes it more emotionally draining than the first 2 cycles that we did. In fact, for the first one, we were so young (27!) and naive, that it didn’t enter our heads that the cycle would fail….I mean, why would it? We were young and everybody said it would work…!! One BFN later and we were a bit older and wiser about the dark world of Infertility and so we waited 2 years before having cycle no 2. That time we had 2 seemingly perfect blastocysts transferred and left the clinic with the Fertility Specialists words ringing in our ears “the worst outcome will be that it is twins”!!! One heartbreaking and soul destroying BFN later, we took another 3 years to pick up the pieces enough, to enable us to be in the right place both emotionally and financially, to try again.

So, yes, if I am a bit of a whinger and a bitcher over the next few weeks, I apologise in advance. I know that that is the reason I reacted so badly to the recent “kid’s party saga”, there is no way if I was in my right mind, that I would’ve let it hurt me quite so much…