New Normal

You have all heard the saying that “time heals all”, you have probably even said it to people yourself.

As a Mother who has lost a child, I have heard it many times and I know it to be true…you all do. BUT I am hugely saddened by the fact that time does heal a broken heart and a grieving soul, none more so than now, after losing Maverick.

He died a month ago and left such a giant hole in our lives that, for the last 5 years, was filled with a wagging tail and his happy face and lots of kisses. I cried for days, we both did and I was so sure that I would never get used to coming home and him not rounding the corner at a sprint, to jump up at the window, even though he knew he shouldn’t…he just couldn’t contain his excitement at seeing his beloved masters come home. But, it has started to become our “new normal” and I just realised that I am beginning to get used to it.

I am hugely saddened by this and I realised today that I never pin pointed a time, when Ashton being around, became the “new normal” , instead of us being the grieving parents, after losing our Eloise. Obviously time healing all does make life easier to get through but, it almost feels as though you are forgetting them, forgetting the impact that they made on your lives and, in turn, disrespecting them and their memory.

I have lost my beloved Child and now my beloved Pet, I should continue grieving and be heartbroken for the rest of my life, it just feels wrong that I don’t. Of course I have my moments when I find myself thinking back to happy times and I tear up, there are also times when I hear a sad song and bawl my eyes out for an hour straight BUT there are also more frequent times that I am completely fine, normal in fact and that, right there, is what I CANNOT get used to.